


Not Enough

by Helpbellamyblake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Literal Sleeping Together, POV Clarke, Sad Clarke, Short One Shot, Sweet Bellamy, clarke loves bellamy blake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 05:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8132015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helpbellamyblake/pseuds/Helpbellamyblake
Summary: Loving Bellamy Blake wasn't sweet the way Clarke imagined it to be. It wasn't sweet the way it should have been. It hurt, every word, every look, every touch. XX One shot drabble for S4 Bellarke





	

Loving Bellamy Blake wasn't sweet the way Clarke imagined it to be. It wasn't sweet the way it should have been. It hurt, every word, every look, every touch. She'd thought that giving her heart what it wanted all that time would bring her some comfort, some peace in their final days. And it would for a second until she remembered...it wouldn't last. Knowing she only had a limited number of days with him hung like a thick grey cloud over her head. Every smile he put on her face was followed by a tightness in her chest and later that feeling kept her up at night. She felt guilty. All these people looking to her for answers and all she wanted was to spend every last second she had laying with him. She was tired, so tired. And he knew. So they lay in bed together and for a moment she could drown out everything outside of his arms. She imagined the world crumbling in on itself at that very second and thought if it happened then that would be okay. She rested her head down on his lap and he brushed through her hair with his fingers and she let herself close her eyes in the dark. She'd be okay if she went like this.

They were quiet in these moments and she loved that because she knew when they left this room they'd be met with chaos. Pressing questions and terrified eyes followed them everywhere they went. Bellamy left that all outside, he never bothered her with empty promises either because truth was they were fucked and they both knew that. But regardless when she lay against him she somehow felt okay despite the grey cloud looming over head. At the same time she hated the moments because it was in the thick silence that she felt those three little words press on her tongue the hardest, and she'd clench her teeth together to keep them from escaping. She couldn't bear to say them not knowing what tomorrow held. Still she savored the time with him. She memorized his sent, his breaths, his everything. In the dead of the night when neither of them could sleep because of the nightmares they shared, she memorized his body. Every curve, every scar, every inch of him. How the muscles on his bare back felt under her fingers when he loomed over her in the darkness, how his dark curls tickled her face, how his rough hand felt running down her side. She memorized how his breath felt against her neck whispering little things in the night meant for her and only her. And his lips. Her heart broken again and again knowing their first kiss was just weeks ago and now their last kiss was on the horizon.

With her head still on his lap and the warm skin of his leg against her cheek, she traced her finger over the raised ridge of a scar on his thigh. It was only one of many, but this was the one that he bore for her. She remembered the day he shed his blood in attempt to bring her safety and she silently swore to never let anyone hurt him again. This time she had with him was not enough, she wanted to memorize every freckle if she could, so she kissed his scar and with his fingers still running through her hair she made the decision to fight. She would go down kicking and screaming if that was all she could do but she wouldn't go out without a fight. She was tired but for him she would fight.

These numbered days with Bellamy Blake were not enough for her.


End file.
